"Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor."

"Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority."

"Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some."

"Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset."

"Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes."

"A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?"

"All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ."

"If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it."

"Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor."

"Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority."

"Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some."

"Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset."

"Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes."

"A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?"

"All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ."

"If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it."

"Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor."

"Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority."