"Riley : "Do you want to claw at me, kitty-cat? Come on."Mercy: "Sorry, I don't beat defenseless puppies."

"Look. Survey. Inspect. My hair is ruined! I look like a pan of bacon and eggs!"

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."

"When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone."

"I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat.He lay still. “I give up,” he said and smiled. “Your move.”Er. I was sitting atop the Beast Lord in my underwear, holding a knife to his throat. What the hell was my next move?"

"I past another telkhine, who was so startled he dropped his Lil' Demons lunch box. I left him alive - partly because he had a cool lunch box..."

"You know how hard it is to feel like an extreme falcon-headed combat machine when somebody calls you "chicken man"?"

"One glance and I knew exactly who and what he was. The classic alpha male, the kind who had spurred evolution forward about five million years ago by nailing every female in sight. They charmed, seduced, and behaved like bastards, and yet women were biologically incapable of resisting their magic DNA."

"One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine."

"Claire was struggling through last summer’s diary volume when Myrnin popped in through the portal, wearing a big floppy black hat and a kind of crazy/stylish pimp coat that covered him from neck to ankles, black leather gloves, and a black and silver walking stick with a dragon’s head on it. And, on his lapel was a button that said, If you can read this, thank a teacher."

"What I'm expecting is for you to behave like the gentleman I always thought you were."

"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement."

"And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl."

"I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts."

"I don't understand how people canstand next to you one year,and next year, they cannot. They're going crazy, screaming. They can't take it that you're there. But last year I was in the same club,walking around,lonely like a motherfucker. Couldn't get a date or a dance. I was too skinny, too something,and now, "He's just adorable. He's just, oh!"

"I’ve had a tense couple of days. And I’ve got to tell you, burning someone’s face off sounds like a great way to relax."

"She'd met Colin on a Monday.She'd kissed him on a Friday.Twelve years later.She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic."

"I disapprove of matrimony as a matter of principle.... Why should any independent, intelligent female choose to subject herself to the whims and tyrannies of a husband? I assure you, I have yet to meet a man as sensible as myself! (Amelia Peabody)"

"It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech."

"Tarzan-like men are my weakness, apparently."

"Ceres wanted a united front in the plant war.""The plant war," Percy said. "You're going to arm all the little grapes with tiny assault rifles?"

"Ford carried on counting quietly. This is about the most aggressive thing you can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying "Blood...blood...blood...blood..."