"CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?HOBBES:I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN:Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God."

"When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back."

"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

"I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family."

"I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!"

"Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience."

"Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes."

"Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!"

"I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts."

"The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse"

"[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble.] Calvin: Ha! I've got a great word and it's on a "Double word score" box! Hobbes: "ZQFMGB" isn't a word! It doesn't even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It's a worm found in New Guinea! Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I'm looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I'll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What's your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957."

"Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat."

"I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world."

"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."

"Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it's just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!"

"Calvin: Why are you crying mom?Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables."

"From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in."

"Now what state do you live in?''Denial."

"Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?"

"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."

"The world isn't fair, Calvin.""I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?"