"No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?""What?""Oh, you'd like something simpler?"

"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."

"DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH."

"In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded."

"Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you."

"Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one."

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

"I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel."

"Progress just means bad things happen faster."

"Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things."

"YOU FEAR TO DIE?"It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've always...it's just that life is a habit that's hard to break..."

"This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic."

"If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life."

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been pinching my beer? And at the other end of the bar the world is full of the other type of person, who has a broken glass, or a glass that has been carelessly knocked over (usually by one of the people calling for a larger glass) or who had no glass at all, because he was at the back of the crowd and had failed to catch the barman's eye."

"The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues."

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"Death thought about it.CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE."

"Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom."

"If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember."

"It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life."

"Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar."