"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."

"I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host."

"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice."

"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."

"It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard."

"And if my heart be scarred and burned,The safer, I, for all I learned."

"Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?"

"The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back."

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away."

"I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you."

"ur be the things I am wiser to know:Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.Four be the things I'd been better without:Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.Three be the things I shall never attain:Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.Three be the things I shall have till I die:Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye."

"In youth, it was a way I had,To do my best to please.And change, with every passing ladTo suit his theories.But now I know the things I knowAnd do the things I do,And if you do not like me so,To hell, my love, with you."

"By the time you swear you're his,Shivering and sighing.And he vows his passion is,Infinite, undying.Lady make note of this --One of you is lying."

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

"If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised."

"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed."

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."

"Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne."

"MenThey hail you as their morning starBecause you are the way you are.If you return the sentiment,They'll try to make you different;And once they have you, safe and sound,They want to change you all around.Your moods and ways they put a curse on;They'd make of you another person.They cannot let you go your gait;They influence and educate.They'd alter all that they admired.They make me sick, they make me tired."