"The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires."

"Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."

"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.", Summer 1956]"

"I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid."

"Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both."

"That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them."

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."

"I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host."

"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice."

"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."

"It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard."

"And if my heart be scarred and burned,The safer, I, for all I learned."

"Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?"

"The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back."

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away."

"I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you."

"ur be the things I am wiser to know:Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.Four be the things I'd been better without:Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.Three be the things I shall never attain:Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.Three be the things I shall have till I die:Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye."