"Um...Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed--"

"Stop!" Narcissus got to his feet. "This is not right! This person is obviously not awesome, so he must be..." He struggled for the right words. It had probably been a long time since he'd talked about anything other than himself. "He must be tricking us." Apparently Narcissus wasn't completely stupid."

"Tell you what, you let me go, and I’ll ask you plenty of questions about your race. Until then, I’m slightly distracted with how this little vacation on the good ship Holy Sh*t is going to pan out for me."

"Well enough,” I reply. “Remember, you’re drunk. And happy. You’re supposed to be lusting over your escort. Try smiling a little more.” like I’m lusting? This is me, lusting.” His lashes flutter at me. better."

"He smiled at that, and then his gaze shifted to a spot over my shoulder and it faded. 'These doubts wouldn’t have anything to do with the company you’re keeping of late, would they?'I didn’t get a chance to answer before the shop door was thrown open and a furious war mage stomped in. Pritkin spotted me and his eyes narrowed.'You shaved my legs?!'Mircea looked at me and folded his arms across his chest. I looked from one unhappy face to the other and suddenly remembered that I had somewhere else to be."

"Sometimes when it looks like I'm deep in thought I'm just trying not to have a conversation with people."

"Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut."

"Well, spit on my empty grave--if it ain't the attack of the Disney princesses!"

"The truth is, every son raised by a single mom is pretty much born married. I don't know, but until your mom dies it seems like all the other women in your life can never be more than just your mistress."

"I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back."

"[Myrnin to Claire about their costumes of Pierrot and Harlequin, respectively]"Don't they teach you anything in your schools?".""Pity. I suppose that's what comes of your main education flowing from Google."

"I spilled more times than a glass of milk on a roller coaster."

"And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions."

"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known."

"Molly: So how do you think of Bryce Hamilton crowd so far? Boys hot enough for you?Bethany: I wouldn't say hot. Most of them seem to have a normal body temperature."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money."

"Why did Mother ask you to help me rescue Gelsi?" I asked Leif."She thought I could assist you in some way. Instead, I had tried to-""Kill me? You can join the 'I Want to Kill Yelena Guild.' I hear they have sixmembers in good standing.Valek is president since he had wanted to kill me twice."--Yelena to Leif"

"Either you go to America with Mrs. Van Hopper or you come home to Manderley with me.""Do you mean you want a secretary or something?""No, I'm asking you to marry me, you little fool."

"It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?"

"Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out."

"The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates."