"If you are good life is good."

"...slow and drunk is no match for fast and scared shitless."

"It was amazing how many books one could fit into a room, assuming one didn't want to move around very much."

"I don’t believe in astrology"

"I had no desire to hear another woman tell my boyfriend how hot he was. If I wanted him to know, I'd damn well tell him myself."

"He whipped out his sheet, then pulled it over himself and wrapped it tightly around his face like an old woman in a shawl. 'How do I look?''Like the ugliest shanky girl I’ve ever seen,' Minho responded. 'You better thank the gods above you were born a dude.' 'Thanks."

"You have a very open relationship with your fans.""Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers."

"When I'm out of politics I'm going to run a business, it'll be called rent-a-spine"

"Call me sentimental, but there's no-one in the world that I'd like to see get dysentery more than you"

"He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches."

"Okay, seriously, I dont know if this is true or not, but I heard people who use profanity are trying to compensate for their lack of you know... size" -Tuck"

"Any idiot can put up a website."

"Frank didn’t drop you on purpose,” she said. “He’s not like that. He’s just a little clumsy sometimes.”“Oops,” Leo said, in his best Frank Zhang voice. “Dropped Leo into a squad of enemy soldiers. Dang it!"

"And Nate? You kiss like a slobbering dog, you have bad breath, and you wouldn't know how to punch the right buttons on a girl if we came with manuals. Happy Thanksgiving, Jackass."

"I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble."

"I really should come with a warning label."

"I'm a werewolf trapped in a human body.""Well, yeah, that's kind of the definition.""No, really. I'm trapped.""Oh? When was the last time you shape-shifted?""That's just it - I've never shape-shifted.""So you're not really a werewolf.""Not yet. But I was meant to be one, I just know it. How do I get a werewolf to attack me?"Stand in the middle of a forest under a full moon with a raw steak tied to your face, holding a sign that says, 'Eat me; I'm stupid'?"

"I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?"

"If you think I'm going to let six people risk their lives - !''because it's the first time for all of us,' said Ron.'This is different, pretending to be me -''Well, none of us really fancy it, Harry,' said Fred earnestly. 'Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever.'Harry did not smile. 'You can't do it if I don't cooperate, you need me to give you some hair.''Well, that's the plan scuppered,' said George. 'Obviously there's no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate.''Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who's not allowed to use magic; we've got no chance,' said Fred."

"Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!"

"I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them."

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."