"He gazed amusedly down the table at Tessa. “You’re the shape-changer, aren’t you?” he said. “Magnus Bane told me about you. No mark on you at all, they say.” Tessa swallowed and looked him straight in the eye. They were discordantly human eyes, ordinary in his extraordinary face. “No. No mark.” He grinned around his fork. “I do suppose they’ve looked everywhere?” “I’m sure Will’s tried,” said Jessamine in a bored tone."

"What grinds me the most is we're sending kids out into the world who don't know how to balance a checkbook, don't know how to apply for a loan, don't even know how to properly fill out a job application, but because they know the quadratic formula we consider them prepared for the world`With that said, I'll admit even I can see how looking at the equation x -3 = 19 and knowing x =22 can be useful. I'll even say knowing x =7 and y= 8 in a problem like 9x - 6y= 15 can be helpful. But seriously, do we all need to know how to simplify (x-3)(x-3i)??And the joke is, no one can continue their education unless they do. A student living in California cannot get into a four-year college unless they pass Algebra 2 in high school. A future psychologist can't become a psychologist, a future lawyer can't become a lawyer, and I can't become a journalist unless each of us has a basic understanding of engineering.Of course, engineers and scientists use this shit all the time, and I applaud them! But they don't take years of theater arts appreciation courses, because a scientist or an engineer doesn't need to know that 'The Phantom of the Opoera' was the longest-running Broadway musical of all time.Get my point?"

"You climbed into my window in the middle of the night. So, either you're some kind of Vampire or some kind of Perv. Which is it?"

"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."

"She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose. When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. 'Nuh-uh. Mine.''Share!' she demanded.'Man, you are one grabby girlfriend.'She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part. 'If you love me, you'll give me a taco.''Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?''Not for a taco,' she said. 'I'm not cheap.''They're brisket tacos.''Now you're talking."

"As far as I can tell, there are two basic (kissing) rules: 1. Don't bite anything without permission. 2. The human tongue is like wasabi: it's very powerful, and should be used sparingly."

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button."

"You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house."

"Things on the essential list: vodka, Nine Inch Nails, a steady supply of mortal men, and an all-purpose bitchy attitude."

"Katniss: 'What about you? Ive seen you in the market. You can lift hundred pound bags of flour'. I snap at himTell him that. Thats not nothing.Peeta: Yes and Im sure the arena will be full of bags of flour for me to chuck at people."

"Some have brains, and some haven't, ... and there it is."

"He’s a love-’em-and-leave-’em kind of guy. And though he’s not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.”William growled low in his throat. “Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone?” He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. “Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya’s the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.”Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. “William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."

"This is a mournful discovery.1)Those who agree with you are insane2)Those who do not agree with you are in power."

"He who laughs last laughs the laughiest."

"Actors are so fortunate. They can choose whether they will appear in tragedy or in comedy, whether they will suffer or make merry, laugh or shed tears. But in real life it is different. Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualifications. Our Guildensterns play Hamlet for us, and our Hamlets have to jest like Prince Hal. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."

"Your as slow as a fat kid on crutches"

"No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner,"

"FABLEHAVEN: None who enter will leave unchanged. Trespassers will be turned to stone."

"A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old."

"Writing is like getting married. One should never commit oneself until one is amazed at one's luck."

"Spike (to Giles) : Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes — 'Cuppa tea, cuppa tea... almost got shagged... cuppa tea'?"

"Ack!" I said.Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me."