"You know on TV when there’s one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments."

"Are you insinuatin' that my daughter is a liar?""Oh, no, not at all. I'm saying your daughter is a liar. Surely you can appreciate the difference."

"Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to."

"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."

"Right," she said, "We're going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn't think negative."

"A girl’s got to use what she’s given and I’m not going to make a guy drool the way a Britney video does. So I take it to extremes. I don’t say I dress sexily on stage - what I do is so extreme. It’s meant to make guys think: ‘I don’t know if this is sexy or just weird."

"Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it."

"I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting."

"Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus."

"Now what happens?" asked the man in black. "We face each other as God intended," Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.""You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?"

"To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time."

"The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure."

"I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up."

"One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer "a deck of cards" or "Anna Karenina" when the obvious answer is "a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want."

"It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really."

"Why is it that all cars are women?" he asked. "Because they're fussy and demanding," answered Zee. "Because if they were men, they'd sit around and complain instead of getting the job done," I told him."

"If I shot an arrow and thought about an ass, would it surprise you if it hit Erik?"

"When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?"

"That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know.""Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind.""I so wish you hadn't said that."

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."

"Any game plan? Xypher asked Sin.Don't die.I like it. Simple, bold. Impossible. Works for me.Kat scoffed at his sarcasm. What are you bitching about, Xypher? You're already dead.He laughed. You know, for once, it's good to be me."

"Sex had been amazing, but it wasn't a magical cure for everything. Damn. Somewhere along the way, I'd picked up common sense."