"You wanted to lick my face the first time you saw me? Is that usually what you do when you’re attracted to guys?” I shake my head. “Not your face, your dimple. And no. You’re the only guy I’ve ever had the urge to lick.” He smiles at me confidently. “Good. Because you’re the only girl I’ve ever had the urge to love."

"It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death.""Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you will find in the arena. Say it's a gigantic cake-"

"Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march."

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."

"Relax, having kids is years away. But can you imagine? Your brains, my charm, our collective good looks... then add in the usual physical abilities dhampirs get. It's really not even fair to everyone else."

"...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened."

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred."

"We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything."

"Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets."

"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know."

"How did you become blind, uh, Jeff is it?"Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened."

"It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal."

"I quote others only in order the better to express myself."

"I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine."

"Reyna sent me to get Percy," Frank said. "Did Octavian accept you?""Yeah," Percy said. "He slaughtered my panda."

"What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize."

"A gun. I had been brought down by a gun. It was practically comical. Cheaters, I thought."

"I heard the man and woman cry a warning as I frantically racked my brain for some sort of throat-repairing spell, which I was clearly about to need. Of course the only words that I actually managed to yell at the werewolf as he ran at me were, 'BAD DOG!'Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a flash of blue light on my left. Suddenly, the werewolf seemed to smack into an invisible wall just inches in front of me...."You know," someone said off to my left, "I usually find a blocking spell to be a lot more effective than yelling 'Bad dog,' but maybe that's just me."

"Poison!" Grover yelped. "Don't let those things touch you or...""Or we'll die?" I guessed."Well...after you shrivel slowly to dust, yes.""Let's avoid the swords," I decided."

"Student: Dr. Einstein, Aren't these the same questions as last year's [physics] final exam?Dr. Einstein: Yes; But this year the answers are different."

"Carpe Scrotum. Seize life by the testicles"