"Fortunately, among werewolf women, the word "bitch" is not offensive. I was having a lot of fun with that."Hey there, bitches!" I called as I came through the door. "What are my favorite bitches up to today?"

"No one believes you’re serious until bodies start to fall. -Vlad"

"Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a well-known solution to every human problem—neat, plausible, and wrong."

"Civilization is vastly overrated."

"Jace suggested that the cast of "Gilligan's Island" could go do something anatomically unlikely with themselves."

"Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film."

"Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.'Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right?Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?'Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?"

"Alec?" Magnus was staring at him. He had dispatched the remaining Iblis demons, and the square was empty but for the two of them. "Did you just- did you just save my life?" Alec knew he ought to say something like, Of course, because I'm a Shadowhunter and that's what we do, or That's my job. Jace would have said something like that. Jace always knew the right thing to say. But the words that actually came out of Alec's mouth where quite different- and sounded petulant, even to his own ears. "You never called me back," he said. "I called you so many times and you never called me back." Magnus looked at Alec as if he'd lost his mind. "Your city is under attack," he said. "The wards have broken, and the streets are full of demons. And you want to know why I haven't called you?"

"But we're going to smile and pretend we're fine with the dorky birthmas gifts because people do not get that they can't mush a birthday into christmas."

"I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels."

"No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time."

"I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital."

"Ooh..I want one" - BexThey're not puppies." -Cammie"

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."

"So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof."

"If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem."

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."

"I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic."

"rolf! what? are you really rolling on the floor laughing? well, please stay down there for a sec while I KICK YOUR ASS."

"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"

"Adam's response was buried in the sound of the first-story door falling open. Noah slouched in. In a wounded tone, he said, "He threw me out the window!"Ronan's voice sang out from behind his closed door: "You're already dead!"

"Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight."