"Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car."

"That's kind of a leap, but the Russian judge gave you a nine point five for style, so okay."

"What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?" "Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is."

"This emotion I'm feeling now, this is love, right?""I don't know. Is it a longing? Is it a giddy stupid happiness just because you're with me?""Yes," she said."That's influenza," said Miro. "Watch for nausea or diarrhea within a few hours."

"Yes, men are pigs. Except your brother, of course. He's actually a decent human being. Almost a woman.-Jillian's mother"

"I was just kidding, shuck-face," Minho said. "Let's all go over there. She could have an army of psycho girl ninjas hiding in that shack of hers.""Psycho girl ninjas?" Newt repeated, his voice showing he was surprised, if not annoyed, by Minho's additude."

"Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is actually used to cut diamonds," I added. Radar tapped a locker twice with his fist to show his approval, and then came back with another. "Ben, getting you a date to prom is so hard that the American government believes the problem cannot be solved with diplomacy, but will instead require force."

"People usually asked her if she had a belly button. Of course she had a belly button. She couldn't explain how. She didn't really want to know."

"His eyes widened just a bit, his lips flexed. I realized he was trying not to laugh. I hate it when people find my threats amusing."

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."

"I am a man, and men do not drink pink drinks. Now, be gone, woman, and fetch me something brown." Jace said. "Brown?" said Isabelle."Yes. Brown. It's a manly color. See? Alec is wearing it." Jace said."Well, it was black but it faded." Alec said."Well, I can always fix it up with something sparkly," Magnus said, holding a sparkley headband. "Resist the urge, Alec, resist the urge." Simon said."

"How long have you been with Raphael?”“You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.”“What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.”-Venom and Elena"

"Yes, we'll yell, 'Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese'."

"Will put his hand on Nico's shoulder. "Nico, we need o have another talk about your people skills.""Hey, I'm just stating the obvious. If this is Apollo, and he dies, we're all in trouble."Will turned to me. "I apologize for my boyfriend."Nico rolled his eyes. "Could you not―""Would you prefer special guy?" Will asked. "Or significant other?""Significant annoyance, in your case," Nico grumbled"

"He was painfully shy, which, as is often the manner of the painfully shy, he overcompensated for by being too loud at the wrong times."

"Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon--perfect."

"Anyone who knew the word slattern was worth cultivating as a friend."

"In a totally sane society, madness is the only freedom."

"I don't need anything to get high. I'm high on life."

"Percy was getting tired of water.If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, but he didn’t care."

"You're getting into some kind of shape, cop."Aw, come on, now." Butch grinned. "Don't let that shower we took go to your head."Rhage fired a towel at the male. "Just pointing out your beer gut's gone."It was a Scotch pot. And I don't miss it."