"Oh that looked painful," called another Puck, a little farther down. "We really need to talk about your anger-management problems."

"I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly."

"You can read minds, and you didn't tell me?” Link stared at me like he just found out I was the Silver Surfer. He rubbed his head nervously. “Hey, man, all that stuff about Lena? I was yankin’ your chain.” He looked away. “Are you doin’ it now? You're doin’ it, aren't you? Dude, get out of my head.” He backed away from me and into the bookshelf.“I can't read your mind, you idiot."

"Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid."

"CUSTOMER: Do you have this children's book I've heard about? It's supposed to be very good. It's called "Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe."

"My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house."

"I don't know where people got the idea that characters in books are supposed to be likable. Books are not in the business of creating merely likeable characters with whom you can have some simple identification with. Books are in the business of creating great stories that make you're brain go ahhbdgbdmerhbergurhbudgerbudbaaarr."

"Ransom really looked at the other man for the first time, shook his head, stared again.“Holy hell, your eyes are like a fucking viper’s.” Venom raised an eyebrow.“You have hair prettier than one of Astaad’s concubines.” Ransom gave the vampire the finger. Venom grinned."

"You can run from the grave, but you can't hide."

"Every time I annoy him he retreats into his No Mundanes Allowed tree house." Simon pointed at Jace."

"All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental."

"But Grover’s voice was already growing fainter. ‘Sweet dreams. Don’t let me die!"

"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?"

"I'm trying to make some sense out of the phrase "Everything happens for a reason," and I think I've figured out what the reason is - to pissed me off."

"'Tell Suzie she's a lucky cat.' Have sexier words ever been spoken?"

"Do you find this...distracting?"

"How are you feeling?"I leaned away from him. "Gross."Aiden frowned. "Gross?""I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face in days. Don't come near me."He laughed. "Alex, come on.""Seriously, I'm gross." I put my hand over my mouth.Ignoring my protests, he leaned over and brushed my string hair back. "You're as beautiful as always, Alex."I stared at him. He must not get out much."

"OK," Josh said evenly, "I've seen men made of mud, I guess I can accept spying rats. Do they talk?" he wondered aloud.Don't be ridiculous," Flamel snapped, "They're rats."Josh really didn't think it was a ridiculous suggestion."

"Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here."

"I had a polynomial once. My doctor removed it."

"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises."

"Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does."